JINKSTO

This is a post that I started writing but never completed.  It must have been about eight months ago because I don’t do the job described here.  I still work for the same company and I do similar work though so most of it still applies.

This is probably one of the only times that you’ll see me posting specifics about work.    There are a few reasons for that.  Some people, like Aviatrix, Dave and Greybeard can do it and maintain and maintain a level of anonymity for the company and the people that they fly with.  In fact, of the three, I can only tell you exactly which aircraft one of them flies and it took months to figure that out.

Like I said though,  I’m not good at that so let’s shortcut the process.   I work for a major national bank that has made a lot of news lately.  There have been calls for all sorts of silly stuff up to and including requests for the resignation or firing of the CEO.  Let’s be clear, I’m a technical guy.  I’m not a "banker" and I’m not a "trader".  I don’t understand the "high finance" side of the business because, honestly, it bores me.  There are a lot of people like me here.  They know their jobs and many are considered subject matter experts not just around the office but in the specific industries where their skills apply.   Many of them, in fact, literally wrote the book  on the subjects that they work with.  It is highly gratifying to work with people who are experts in a particular field.  Mistakes were made recently… it’s not yet clear who made them but does that really matter?  I continue to have great confidence in both the stability of the bank and the leadership.  Let me explain why from my own perspective…

It’s tough to describe the complexity that exists within a major international organization.  There are people that do everything and there’s a lot to be done.  Some of the most valuable people in this organization aren’t the guys who can do things but the guys who know who to call to get things done.  A subtle but important difference.  The software that I primarily work with is an externally provided application.  This is also known as "third-party" or vendored application.  It’s the only software in the world that does what it does and honestly, it does it rather well.  The problem is that there can sometimes be quality issues with new versions so we put a lot of work into making sure that it works the way it should.

For months at a time we work with the vendor to define changes that are need in the application.  Thousands of hours go into making sure that the next version works the way it should.  After all of that work is complete we get a link from the vendor and are told where to download the product.  That’s when I get to play Maestro.

The first thing I do is download the software to a secure place and make sure it works in a basic way.  That means you can install it without errors and connect the client to the server.  Minimal stuff.   When I’m sure it does I move the packaged software somewhere that that the folks that will need to can get at the bits they need.

I ask the database administrators to make copies of the "production" data so that we have something to test the product against.  Depending on what we’re testing this can be as many as six copies of the database which is about 15 Gig of data so you’re talking about moving around 90 Gigabytes of stuff… that’s a lot. This process takes at least "overnight" because the team that does the copies is in India.  To get them to do it they need a request form filled out.  That form can be complex and if it’s not right they won’t do the work, you’ll have to do the form again and you’ll have to wait another 24 hours.  It seems pedantic and mean but it makes sense.  A lot depends on getting data in the right places securely at a bank and they’re not going to make a mistake because I was lazy in filling out forms and didn’t explain exactly what I want.

That done, my Indian counterpart and I start putting the servers together.  Mostly, this is an easy process.  We have three servers to do testing with but at any given time they can be in use for different things.  It’s a dance to make sure that servers with the right versions of the software are available to the people that need them at just the right time.  We get the servers installed and pointing to the right databases for the specific tests.  There are, however, a couple of the servers that we don’t have access to.  For those it’s filling out another form with specific instructions on where to get the software, how to install it and how to configure it.  Here again, if something is wrong you’re in for a 24 hour delay to make it right. 

Next, is making sure the client side is set up.  A "client" is the tool that you use to connect to the server.  In Internet terms, a webserver would be considered the "server" part of the application and your web browser would be considered the "client" part.  In order to test the client part we need to desktops to install them on.  We can’t have this "test" version installed on our own workstations because the potential for error is too great.  A lot of the test involve changing data and generally trying to break things.  Accidentally pointing a test client at the live or production servers would be a bad thing(tm) so to prevent that we never install the test version on the same desktop as a live version.   That means we need at least six or eight test desktops.  They all have to be installed with the proper software and configured in such a way that they can never talk to the live servers.  This takes another form which again must be prefect err… perfect.

With these parts done, you’re already up to three days worth of "wait time" just to get things set up.  In order to speed up the process we do it all at once (databases, clients, servers, etc) and can have an entire test environment set up over night.   The problem with doing that is that it all has to be right on the first go or it has to be done again.  Doing it again means that I’m affecting other people.   The testers are standing by to test for us and until we get it right they’re sitting on their hands.  The project managers are waiting patiently (yeah right) and the end users… the end users are waiting for us to all get done so that they can get all of the cool new features. 

It’s complex but fantastically fulfilling when it all comes together perfectly and I realize that there are probably only two or three people who could have done it as fast…

… that’s where the post ended.  I can’t remember now the thought that I wanted to share here but it does give a bit of insight into what I do, or at least did.

In most places where I have a profile picture (facebook, etc).  I’ve temporarily changed that picture to the following:

The thin blue line in memory of four slain officers in Washington and thousands of others that are out there every day standing between us and anarchy.

God Bless Them All.

Historic.  Everything is historic. Black presidents, healthcare debates, weather, wars, women’s issues, men’s issues, gay rights, economic issues… you name it and it was a historic year for it.  The one place that everyone seems to miss placing it is before “failure”.  No worries, that’ll come in the next few months.   Google says that the word “historic” was used 158,000,000 times in the last year.

Terrorist.  Everyone is a terrorist lately.  That is, they are if they’re republican, or right wing, or members of the NRA or retired military or ex-cops or Baptist preachers or anyone that doesn’t think “left” enough.   Hell the ONLY people that we’re not allowed to call terrorist are.. well, terrorist.  And there’s no war on them either…

H1N1. Good lord.  Call it the flu would you?  At least they dropped the Stephen Kingish “super flu” almost immediately… almost.  Notice how H1N1 gets trotted out anytime there’s a critical moment in the healthcare debate? It is turning into a disaster of monumental proportions… not because it’s killing everyone as promised, it’s not… but because next year when we DO ahve a super flu… no one will listen.   Besides, if you’re over 65 don’t bother trying to get a flu shot, the government has decided that you’re too old to live anyway.  Speaking of healthcare… oh, nevermind.

Healthcare. This went from uninsured Americans to “the current system sucks”.  Funny thing.  Last year no one knew that the current system sucks.  Heck I was pretty impressed with my healthcare plan until I was told how much it sucks.

Green.  There’s so much green around that it’s making me blue.  And for what?  To prevent global warming?  The easier (and cheaper) way to do that is to just fire a few “scientist”… you know who you are…

Got any other ideas? Leave a comment.

I heard the following exchange today.

Person 1:  Look!  I appreciate what you’re doing and wish I could help but I do NOT want to spend that last few months of my life dealing with this from you!

Person 2: OH!  I’m so sorry!  Look, it’s ok.  Don’t worry about it.  I’m sure I can find someone else!

*Later*

Me:  So, uh how many months DO you have left?

Person 1: Oh, I don’t know, several thousand I guess.  That one works every time.

I don’t really like the way this video is done but the speech is right on.

I didn’t serve in the Marines  but I know many who did, and some who still do.  For them, I present the following, it’s a few days late but I was swamped with work this week.  Marines will know what it means:

On November 10, 1775, a Corps of Marines was created by a resolution of the Continental Congress. Since that date, many thousand men have borne the name Marine. In memory of them, it is fitting that we who are Marines should commemorate the Birthday of our Corps by calling to mind the glories of its long and illustrious history.

The record of our Corps is one which will bear comparison with that of the most famous military organizations in the world’s history. During 90 of the 146 years of it’s existence the Marine Corps has been in action against the nations foes. From the battle of Trenton to the Argonne. Marines have won foremost honors in war, and in the long eras of tranquility at home. Generation after generation of Marines have grown gray in war in both hemispheres and in every corner of the seven seas that our country and its citizens might enjoy peace and security.

In every battle and skirmish since the birth of our Corps Marines have acquitted themselves with the greatest distinction, winning new honors on each occasion until the term Marine has come to signify all that is highest in military efficiency and soldierly virtue.

This high name of distinction and soldierly repute we who are Marines today have received from those who preceded us in the Corps. With it we also received from them the eternal spirit which has animated our Corps from generation to generation and has been the distinguishing mark of the Marines in every age. So long as that spirit continues to flourish Marines will be found equal to every emergency in the future as they have been in the past, and the men of our nation will regard us as worthy successors to the long line of illustrious men who have served as "Soldiers of the Sea" since the founding of the Corps.

JOHN A. LEJEUNE,
Major General
Commandant

Almighty Father, whose command is over all and whose love never fails, make me aware of Thy presence and obedient to Thy will. Keep me true to my best self, guarding me against dishonesty in purpose in deed and helping me to live so that I can face my fellow Marines, my loved ones and Thee without shame or fear. Protect my family. Give me the will to do the work of a Marine and to accept my share of responsibilities with vigor and enthusiasm. Grant me the courage to be proficient in my daily performance. Keep me loyal and faithful to my superiors and to the duties my country and the Marine Corps have entrusted to me. Make me considerate of those committed to my leadership. Help me to wear my uniform with dignity, and let it remind me daily of the traditions which I must uphold. If I am inclined to doubt; steady my faith; if I am tempted, make me strong to resist; if I should miss the mark, give me courage to try again. Guide me with the light of truth and grant me wisdom by which I may understand the answer to my prayer.

Amen.

Happy Birthday Marine, Semper Fidelis, Keep Attacking.

After my last post, hows about we do something uplifting.  Only FOUR more days until the best selling book of the year is released.  you can get yours by clicking on the picture.  Happy reading!

And no, she doesn’t have a job as far as I know but I’ll hire her in 2012.

I’m not sure where this came from originally.  If you know please let me know so that I can update with a reference.

For my friends in Charlotte proper.

This gentleman organized the Charlotte Tea Parties and has a very conservative view.  If you’re in Charlotte consider him when you vote in the upcoming election.  Make your own decisions of course but check out his ideas on http://matthewridenhour.com while doing so.

This story was forwarded to me on Facebook by one of my favorite aunts.  I don’t know the origin so can’t credit the author but here it is in it’s entirety because I thought it was cute:

For those that don’t know about beer history… Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were
1.the invention of beer and
2. the invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women…

The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production.

Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today’s lesson in world history