About 12 years ago I got a brand new Bass Tracker bass boat. It was the first real boat that I had ever owned and we spent many many days on the lake playing with it.
One evening while tooling around on a nearby river Mrs. Jinksto said she wanted to drive the new boat. Which sounded just fine to me. I was already envisioning the looks I’d get from the other fishermen with my wife chauffeuring me from one fishing hole to the next.
I set her up, showed her how to work everything, explained the depth finder and off we went. She carefully throttled us up, the boat climbed up on plane and she soon had us flying up the river with the boat WFO. (That stand for Wide *Full* Open… honest)
I leaned back in my seat, stretched my legs out and waved to other fishermen as we blasted by. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw something flash by just below the surface of the water. Before I could figure out what it was something else flashed by and then another and another…
About this time I realized that I was seeing rocks… big ones! In my calmest, most serene voice I said, “STOP! STOP! STOP!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!
Mrs. Jinksto quickly shut everything down and as the boat stepped down off of plane the motor lightly settled into the gravel.
I explained, again calmly and serenely, that one must ALWAYS watch the depth finder when traveling at high speed in an unknown river. Mrs. Jinksto quietly pointed to the depth finder which was clearly showing us in 35ft of water with cute little fishes swimming around underneath.
I looked over the side… big rocks, no fishes.
I looked at the depth finder… no rocks and lots of little fishes.
At a loss, I reached up and hit the “zoom out” button on the depth finder which promptly beeped and informed me that:
FUNCTION NOT AVAILABLE IN DEMO MODE
All of that to explain the following inside joke.
When Mrs. Jinksto asked me how in the heck you run a Brand New 5.5 Billion (yeah that’s a B) Hunter-Killer Nuclear Submarine aground my response could only be:
“I dunno. Maybe it was still in demo mode?”