From my last post you know that I’ve been on vacation for the last week.  In that time we drove about 3000 miles over 11 days.  That’s enough time for 853 emails to stack up in my inbox at work (as a passive way of saying “I was too busy to post until now”) but not enough time to see everyone that I wanted to see.   We got to see the important folks like Mrs Jinksto’s Aunt and Uncle and my Brother and family but missed a few of the ones that I haven’t seen in years.   A few others were mixed into the “got to see them” bunch but they don’t read this so I won’t get in trouble for skipping a few of the names. 

I learned something on this trip. 

It’s probably an obvious thing to most but not something that I’ve had to deal with directly.  Mrs. Jinksto and I don’t have kids and that was the core of my mistake.  

You see, I’ve always fallen for the “glowing mother to be” bit.  Pregnancy, for me, has always been like that picture of the Virgin Mary that they have in Sunday School books.  You know the one, with the glowing mother to be sporting a halo while comfortably seated on a donkey with a serene look on her face as Joseph leads it through the streets?  It was a beautiful thought.  One that I’ve had for nearly 40 years.  Being around my sister in law over the last week…

let’s stop there and get straight that this isn’t about HER, it’s about women in general who are “with child” and should in no way be construed to mean my sister in law.  Who is very sweet…  Always. jinksto aint no fool…

anyway… after spending a week at my brothers house I learned something. 

That peaceful, serene thing?  It’s reserved for church picnics when everyone is fawning over how radiant they look.  Any other time; Evil.  Yes, that’s right.  Pure, unadulterated (err that’s not a pun), Evil.  The kind they make movies about around Halloween time.  The kind that involves chainsaws and axes.

While in Louisiana we all went down for an ultrasound… like the whole family.  It’s one of those 4D slick things where they can take a picture of the baby in the womb.  The whole thing was rather cool and not nearly as weird as it sounds but that isn’t what this story is about.  Maybe I’ll do a full post on that later.

While  we were at the 4D ultrasound place, the lady who was to have an ultrasound done after us showed up about 15 minutes early.  As we came out of the room she glared at me with hate.  Hate.  Not displeasure.  Pure, raw hatred.  I’ve never met this woman before and she hated me because… well, I don’t know why but she did. 

When my sister in law followed us out of the room some sort of pregnant person hormonal exchange occurred and like a couple of dogs marking territory everything sort of became peaceful but with a wary dangerous feeling in the air.  No one made any sudden moves and everything came out ok.  I’ve been in war zones that were less hostile.

Later, we stopped by Baby’s R Us to pick up a new rocking chair and I began to understand.  A woman came into the store and asked a clerk where the buggy’s were. She was told that they were in the little foyer thing just behind her.  Her response? 
“You mean I have to go BACK outside to get  BUGGY?!  This is ridiculous! I don’t know how you can treat people like this!”

Yes darlin’, you have to walk three steps backwards because you were too stupid to get a buggy on the way in.  I’m sorry that the world is out to get you. 

As we were wandering through the store I felt like a prison escapee in at a Law Enforcement convention.  Everywhere you looked they were there.  As they passed each other you could hear low growls of warning to stay back.  I stayed back.

When we got to the parking lot I watched a woman in the “expecting customers special parking” (who the hell even knew there was such a thing?) get in her car and just start backing up.  She didn’t look.  She didn’t wait for the car behind her to move.  She just got in and backed up.  The guy driving the car behind her had apparently been through this and floored it trying to get away.   As he flew by I noted the look of terror on his face.

So, yeah, I learned something.  I learned that picture that they have in the Sunday school books?  It was painted by a guy with a pregnant woman standing behind him.  Probably with a blunt object of some kind.

And Joseph in that picture… he was walking for a reason.


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