JINKSTO

People might complain about Catholics at a pro-choice convention or Methodists praying at a football game or Presbyterians celebrating Christmas openly but NO ONE complains about a Southern Baptist at a potluck dinner.

Obama said today, "When times are tough, you tighten your belts. You don’t go buying a boat when you can barely pay your mortgage. You don’t blow a bunch of cash on Vegas when you’re trying to save for college."

I’m good with that.  Hell, if you read here you know I’ve been screaming the same message for two years.  However, if you consider that statement along with  the following:

This week Obama revealed his 3.8T budget that contains the largest  deficit since World War II.  We’re way way past “can barely pay your mortgage”… and the absolute hilarious part?  President Obama is indeed scheduled to visit Las Vegas later this month.

… that just makes me giggle.

I was back at Fort Gordon for my second round of AIT.  I had just returned from the Gulf War, spent some time in college and decided to move on.  As a way to earn money, I volunteered to go back to school for a second MOS (job) with the National Guard. 

As prior service we were granted more liberties than the new recruits there for the first time.  As veterans who had served in a war zone we were required to wear a combat patch. In the Battle Dress Uniform (or BDU’s) your unit patch is worn on the left sleeve. Everyone except new recruits not yet assigned to a unit has one.  If you have served in a war zone with a unit you wear the patch of that unit on your right sleeve.  This “combat patch” never changes and you wear it for the rest of your career.  We also wore the backwards American flag (probably the dumbest idea the Army ever had but… don’t get me started).  I think the regulations have been changed now so that everyone wears the flag patch but at the time only veterans had them. Those of us with extra patches were looked at with something approaching awe by the new guys. The older guys that were stationed state side during the war sometimes looked at those patches with annoyance because they didn’t have one.  Both of those reactions get old after a while so we tended to stick to ourselves a lot.

One evening several of us were sitting in a break area passing the time between classes and the final formation of the day.  A Staff Sergeant that we didn’t know walked into the area and asked for directions to a particular barracks.  It’s a training base so strict protocol requires that someone call out “at ease” when he enters the area and everyone stands and assumes a half-ass position of parade rest until the guy says “carry on”.   It’s really mostly for show and just part of everyday life.  The “good” ones will say, “carry on” before you even manage to get to your feet.

I was halfway out up off of the bench that I was sitting on when he said, “carry on” so I gave him a glance and started to sit back down.  He was older than most of us.  I noticed a combat patch and thought, “one of us”.  After a lot of time in the military you learn to evaluate someone in a particular way.  First you check there collar tabs to see what rank they are.  Second you notice the overall appearance. People with sharply pressed uniforms and highly polished boots like this guy either care a great deal about appearances are on some higher ups staff.  That can mean trouble so you checked for a combat patch to get an idea about whether he’s going to be a snob or not. BDU’s are a uniform.  They all look alike.  Every day, all day.  If someone is wearing something on a uniform that is different it’s immediately apparent as “not right”.  You might not know what it is at first but you always catch it.

As my eyes went from this guys collar tabs to his combat patch I caught something “not right” in his uniform.  He was wearing BDU’s (which are the camouflage uniform) but I caught a flash of blue.  There’s no color on a battle dress uniform.  There’s only one award that is worn around the neck rather than pinned on the uniform.  It all happened in less than a second.  The thought process went something like this: “Staff Seargeant”…”Sharp uniform… uh oh” …”combat patch… probably ok” …”wait… what was that… blue? ribbon? OH FUCK!”

“GROUP ATTENTION!” I shouted as I went from half-way back to seated to a fully erect position of attention.  Everyone else snapped to attention as well. It was a training command; You don’t question it, you just do it.   From the position of attention I snapped off one of the crispest salutes that I’ve ever managed to the Congressional Medal of Honor half hidden in his uniform top.  Everyone else caught it a half second behind me and did the same.  We held the salute for 3 seconds and then moved back to the position of attention.  He said, “carry on” again and someone pointed him towards the barracks that he needed.

As he walked away two new privates stared at the ribbon around his neck and kept walking towards us. One of the sergeants in our group flew over a short retaining wall and did a bit of schooling.  Those two will never make that mistake again.

The Congressional Medal of Honor can be worn with any uniform or none.  It doesn’t matter if someone is wearing it in the shower.  If you see it, you salute it.

A few other notes:

* It’s called “The Congressional Medal of Honor”, not “The CMH” or “The MOH”.  That soldier spent something of themselves and was awarded the highest recognition that our country has.  The least you can do is spend some time saying it.

* They are “recipients” not “winners”

* The Medal is awarded not “won”.

* If you weren’t awarded it, don’t wear it.  It’s a federal felony and it makes you an ass.

I had completely forgotten this story until Greybeard reminded me.  I can’t imagine what it would have been like to serve with a recipient.

I’m a law abiding citizen (I used to have a friend that always incorrectly said “law providing” citizen… I never corrected him).  I hear every day or so about how guns are killing America and this concerns me.  I hear about how our nation is being flooded by guns.  They’re everywhere.  In our churches, in our national parks, in our schools, in the JiffyMart down the street.  They are too easily obtained through the “gunshow loophole” and hell, you can just pop by the nearest pawn shop and grab one up on your way to church.

I have a little extra money in my Federal Savings Account so I’ve been thinking about buying handgun that I’ve wanted for a while.  I haven’t bought a handgun in North Carolina yet so started looking into what I need to do. 

First I found that in order to buy a handgun I need permission to do so.  That permission is granted by the County Sherriff.   In order to get the Sherriff’s approval I have to go to the GCSO (Gaston Count Sherriff’s Office) and get a form.  I have to fill out that form and bring it back to the GCSO.  I live about 35 minutes away from there so it would it’s pretty annoying.  Thinking that I might be able to find the form online I went to the GCSO website and was surprised to see a prominently displayed link to “Gun Permits”. Clicking on this took me to page containing only an email address and the following process:

Gun Permit Application Procedures

1. Complete an application; application forms can be picked up or brought back to the Sheriff’s Office any day, Monday-Friday from 8:30am-4:30pm (except holidays).

2. After completing the front page of the application, you will need to bring the application back to the Sheriff’s Office.  After all record checks have been completed and the application is approved, the final permit can be picked up at the Sheriff’s OfficeMonday-Friday from 8:30am-4:30pm.  When you turn your application in, you will be given a phone number to call back in three to five days to see if your application was approved.

3. The fee charged by the Sheriff’s Office for issuing gun permits is $5.00 each.  You may purchase up to five permits from one application.  This is payable (CASH ONLY) to the Sheriff’s Office and is set by state law (G.S. 14-409).  When the permit is picked up at the Sheriff’s Office, you will need to have correct change.  If you do not have the correct change, we cannot issue the permit.

4. Gun permits are issued for the purchase of handguns only.  It does not give you the right to carry the gun concealed.  Carrying a concealed weapon without a N.C. State Concealed Handgun Permit is against the law (G.S. 14-269).

5. Gun permits are issued to allow you to purchase handguns for the protection of your home, business or property, to use in target shooting, hunting or collecting.

APPLICATIONS EXPIRE WHEN PERMITS ARE ISSUED.  A NEW APPLICATION IS REQUIRED WHEN APPLYING FOR ANOTHER PERMIT.  PERMITS MUST BE PICKED UP BEFORE 4:30PM AND WITHIN 30 DAYS OF APPROVAL.  AFTER 30 DAYS THE APPLICATION WILL EXPIRE AND YOU WILL NEED TO RE-APPLY.

No form.  I carefully read the process and thought the following:

1. No reference to an online version of the form. Damn. The business hours look reasonable, even including the “except holidays” exclusion.
2. The front page of the form?  After finding the online version discussed below I discovered that it only had one page.  So I was a bit concerned that something was missing.  No holiday exclusion here?  Can I pick up on a holiday?  What “record checks”?  Isn’t that what NICS is for?
3. Seriously?  Bring 1 five dollar bill for each permit that you want.  Ensure that it is pressed and stacked neatly with other five dollar bills. Give me a break.  I get that they might not want to maintain a cash drawer (it’s dangerous out there, that’s why I need a handgun after all).   I get the feeling that that if I showed up with a 20 and asked for one permit that my request would be immediately denied and all permits destroyed.  That’s probably not the case… they’d probably just make me walk across the street to the gas station for change.  I’d be scared, it’s a rough neighborhood.
4. Interestingly, though they don’t mention it, if you have a CCW then you don’t need a gun permit to buy.  Your CCW suffices. I wonder why they don’t mention it.
5. I was going to use my handgun as a paperweight for my desk and finally get rid of that half drank (drunk?) cup of moldy coffee.  According to this passage that use is illegal in the state of NC. I’m only allowed a handgun if I intend to shoot something?

I realize that these comments are petty, but seriously?  I’m not a criminal.  Certainly not a felon. Who are they trying to protect me from?

While reviewing these rules I noticed a link in the header of the page called “Document Center”.  Clicking that link takes you to a general download page that has a couple of hundred different forms and documents linked on it.  It’s the typical small municipality website approach of putting everything in one place in hopes that someone will find something, anything, useful.  I did. Using the search function I found this document under the heading “Sherriff” most of the way down the page.

Here it is:

I printed the form off and stood over my bar filling it out.  I realized that the ten questions are the same ten questions that are required by the Brady Bill and that I’ll have to answer again when my NICS check gets completed.  In writing this, I notice that I didn’t complete the “Previous Address” section of the form.  That was somewhere in Illinois three and a half years ago. My memory doesn’t work that way.  I needed to look it up so skipped it and meant to go back.  I forgot.  Hopefully that doesn’t cause problems.  I finished off the rest of the form trying to write neatly and even included my (optional) SSN because the thing is linked to my Drivers License number anyway and maybe I get points for saving an admin some time looking it up. 

I won’t go into the stupidity of asking criminals these ten questions.  Billions of words have been written about the idiocy of asking a pot head in a gun store if he “has ever been an unlawful user of , or addicted to alcohol, marijuana, stimulants, depressants or narcotic drugs?”   As I write this though, I wonder how many inherently honestly people have been denied the right to own a gun because of one bad decision in college… the phrase “ever been an unlawful user of” nails about 80% of the population.   There’s not even a spot to say, “but I didn’t inhale”.  Also, if coffee counts as a “stimulant” I’m completely screwed.

Now, I had no idea where the GCSO actually is so I rang up Rob over at hines57.com and invited him to lunch (see how that works?).  When questioned, Rob knew exactly where the GCSO and the Courthouse and the Jail annex was.  I’m not commenting on what that means other than that it got me where I needed to be.

Rob gave me directions while browsing Facebook on his iPhone which only resulted in one missed turn that required a two block trip around downtown Gastonia.   The GCSO shares a parking lot with the county courthouse (and conveniently the Jail Annex) and requires that you pay to park.  There were signs that had a complete scale posted at seemingly random places throughout the parking area but the relevant one was “$1 per hour or part thereof”.  I love it when municipal code gets transferred to public signs.   Not having a dollar bill on me I didn’t want to break the law by not paying so we stopped in the fire zone and Rob agreed to drive around the parking lot while I went inside.  When I walked in there was a sign that said , “GUN PERMITS –> “ and pointed at the window that I would have stopped at to ask directions anyway.  I handed the lady my form, she looked at it briefly to make sure that I had signed it and handed me a slip of paper that has a number and directions to call in 3-5 days and ask if my permits are ready.  Thirty seconds later I was back in the parking lot and watched as Rob, now 40 yards away, got stuck in a lane and was forced back onto the divided street in front of the courthouse.  Five minutes later he was back.  As I stood there in the freezing rain waiting I took cold comfort in the fact that it served him right for making me miss a turn earlier.  That five minute downtown tour probably cost me five dollars in gas for the F250 but I saved a dollar in parking dammit.

By previous agreement we went by “Wired Coffee Express” where I bought our usual round of Americanos fixed up by Owner and Proprietor Todd.  The shop was empty at that time of day so as usual we stood chatting with Todd, trading barbs and exchanging a off-color jokes. 

As we walked out of the store, offending (and addictive) stimulants in hand, a Sheriffs cruiser rolled slowly trough the strip mall.  “DAMN!” I thought, “those guys are GOOD!”

I’ve mentioned before that I use my truck for all sorts of things.  Being the only one in my immediate circle of friends that has a heavy duty truck means that I get to volunteer for all sorts of neat stuff.  Moving people, towing stuff, pulling things out of the ground… you know, redneck stuff.

A couple of years ago I even got scooped into a deal to make a home delivery.  After a party… in the dark of night…   Here’s how my buddy Rob describes the event:

…My brother closed on a house in Gastonia last week, and they have been laboring to fix up the house for the past few days in order to move into it this weekend. Over the course of their labors, they removed the toilets (my brother sat ’em out on the back deck for expedients sake) and had all new plumbing and toilets installed.

Well, my brother and his wife had his sister in law stop by to see the progress and so that they could show off all they had done. Of course, siste in law immediately noticed the toilets sitting on the back deck and couldn’t help herself but started explaining to my brother that "Maybe that’s they way they do it in Mississippi, but in North Carolina …." – well, suffice it to say – she gave my little brother a lot of grief over it and had quite a good laugh in the process.

But little did she realize that I live in the area now – and no one but me picks on my little brother and laughs at his expense! 😉 Oh yes, it is payback time!!! Tomorrow night, my brother is going to pack the two old toilets in the back of his truck and bring them over for Campfire w/Bubba. After we have all taken our ease around the fire, and are about done for the night, we intend to fill those two toilets with fresh potting soil, along with some beautiful blooming flowers my wife will pick up from Wal-Mart – then we shall drive over to Jane’s Fabulous House in her Posh Neighborhood and position the toilets on either end of her beautifully paved driveway!

Oh yea, Saturday morning is going to be a blast – as my brother and his wife are telling everyone to meet early at sister in laws house for breakfast prior to heading over to help move. All of the family (15 people), a few of sister in law’s closest friends, and of course us – will meet at Two Potty Drive!

  For some reason his brothers truck didn’t work out and we ended up using mine… here are the pictures from “Two Potty Drive”

We don’t have kids and aren’t likely to unless two or more people die (that’s complex logic but not relevant to the story so we’ll skip it).   However, most of my friends and siblings have children.  Some of them have awesomely behaved kids.  Others, well… not so much. 

As an impartial observer of this phenomena I have realized something that I think has been missed in the couple of hundred years that people have been studying child psychology.  It’s this; “bad kids simply don’t understand grammar.”  More specifically, they don’t understand proper sentence structure.  

As example, I recently heard a child, when asked to do something, state emphatically, “NO!”.  That’s when it struck me… the brat just didn’t understand basic grammatical rules. “No” can’t be a complete sentence as a it does not contain both a subject and a predicate*.  Obviously, this is in error and the child should be taught basic grammar to improve his or her compliance.

The subject of the thought that this child intended to convey was obviously the self reference subject “I”  and the predicate “am not” but in trying to imply both the intended meaning was lost.  A child must be taught these rules early in life so that they never make this mistake.   Continuing with this example a child must be taught that the proper response to an imperative sentence is always a positive declarative sentence such that the meaning of “no" becomes, “No, I do not wish to be beat so will comply with your demand immediately.” or even the less formal, “No need to ask twice, I am already on it!”

See how simple that is?  With simple understanding of this basic rule of grammar you can completely turn your child’s behavior around.

Other examples:

Used word … implied sentence or completion.

Yeah …  I am still learning the grammatical rules that you have so diligently taught me but I will try harder with a little guidance!

Shut up! … in my room for being disrespectful last time I will immediately comply with your request this time.

I hate (that) you … even had to ask me to accomplish this task but will complete it as expeditiously as possible.

You Can’t Make Me! … comply with your request any faster as I am already moving as quickly as I can!

(alternate example) NO! … I do not need further punishment in order to comply with your demand and will complete the task as quickly as possible.

*There are people that believe that in the sentence “No” the subject, the predicate or both are implied and that as long as the sentence conveys meaning (rather than an exchange of information) the word can be considered either a negative imperative or a negative declarative (depending on context) sentence.  Those people are poopoo heads.

**There are also people that will believe that grammatical errors purposefully placed in this article but not one of the direct examples provided are there for them to correct.  Those people too are poopoo heads.

***As I consider readers of this blog my peers and consider this post an article we shall consider the reading of this article as a review.  That makes this a peer reviewed article in my book which makes me more than qualified (probably the most qualified one in existence) to market services as a Youthologist.   I didn’t know that they existed either but NerdyRedneck Rob over at The Nerdy Redneck blog turned me on to this lucrative industry.  Thanks Sir!

I’ve either found the reason for the 0.8C average temperature increase or found a reason to move. 

Seriously, if there’s that much variance in reported weather data…

SAN FRANCISCO, Ca – Twitter is getting $1.38 Billion of the $12 Billion in federal stimulus money targeted at better interentz for allz to help pay for a new Longer Message Project

President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden announced the grants during a town hall-style meeting in San Francisco on Friday.

The nations first low character limit or “micro-blogging” would be extended from a lowly 140 character limit to a new, longer, 256 character limit.  The funding provides for an additional 116 characters of text in each message, a new logo and a new service unavailable screen that no longer features a flying whale on it.

See breakdown of stimulus dollars

Obama said focusing on building 21st-century computer infrastructure projects is an important element of the country’s economic recovery.

"It creates jobs immediately, and it lays the foundation for a vibrant economy in the future," Obama said.

Though the administration bills the program as “Longer Message Internet," most U.S. projects won’t reach the lengths seen in Europe and Asia. California’s tweets would be by far the longest, exceeding the 200 character limit achieved by some messaging platforms overseas.

Some of the money will go toward messages with top limits of 110 characters, a length already surpassed by twitter, while other funds — such as the $400 million allotted to Ohio, Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton and Cincinnati — will be for messages  no longer than 79 characters.

A half-dozen Cabinet members and other senior administration officials were fanning out across the country for social networking events Thursday and today. The White House said message projects will create or save thousands of jobs in areas including site design, graphic design, planning, engineering and server maintenance and operations.

Obama told the crowd at Thursday’s town hall that when the Longer Message Project is finished, "I’m going to come back down here and tweet on it."

Internet Czar Susan Crawford and members of Congress have acknowledged that they expect much of the expertise and equipment to be supplied by foreign companies.  Mostly outsourced tech workers from India.

The $8 billion investment is just a start. Last year, Obama asked Congress in his budget request for an additional $1 billion a year for five years. Congress for this year approved another $2.5 billion that remains to be awarded. And Obama is expected to ask for more social networking funds when his budget is presented next week.

Also, Crawford has hinted that some of the $1.5 billion allotted in the stimulus plan for discretionary Internet projects may go toward longer message projects.

—–

Yeah, I know… that’s pretty silly.  But then, so is spending Billions on a rail system that will only make us “more like europe”.  You have two scenarios… either no one will ride the trains (I wouldn’t) or they will put a nail in the coffin of our airline industry… you pick.

flag@whitehouse.gov if you’ve got a problem with it.

The following image comes from an eighth grade textbook. It can be a difficult idea to understand so I have added notes in case the President happens by:

I think I’ll play this in a loop while I watch the State of the Union speech tonight…